Hot and Hard

I don’t know what the weather is like where you are, but here in the UK it is beginning to seem like this winter will never end. Snow and freezing temperatures have given way to rain that comes at you horizontally in howling winds and temperatures that are, well, just a little above zero. And now the snow's back again.

It’s all rather depressing.

Meanwhile, as always, FMS has been collecting images from around the internet for the occasional Hot and Hard series of posts, gorgeous women, leaner than full-on bodybuilders, who have nevertheless got more than enough muscle to satisfy.

So, we’re freezing cold, we need cheering up, and we have a folder overflowing with images of hot and hard women. Can you tell where this is leading?




Welcome to Hot and Hard Week!




What makes this XXL winter XXL annoying for me is that as spring approaches I always wonder whether this will be the breakthrough year, the year when British womanhood shed the winter layers of jackets and jumpers to reveal they have spent the entire winter pumping iron and eating right. The year when a toned female arm on the streets of the UK will become an everyday sight, rather than a rarity.

Every year I’m equally optimistic, despite all past experience telling me it’ll never happen. Imagine a man who’s never won a penny on the lottery, but keeps buying his ticket. It’s not because he’s convinced he’ll win, but until he’s found out the dream hasn’t come true, he enjoys the possibility that it might.

But our man would soon lose interest if the lottery draw never happened, and that’s how I’m starting to feel about the spring layer-shedding. You can’t enjoy the anticipation forever. And this winter seems to have gone on forever.




What came first – the hot women or the hot climate? Are hot women drawn to places with hot climates, or are hot climates the result of concentrations of hot women? There certainly seem to be more of them in places like California and Florida, not to mention Brazil, but if I take that logic to its conclusion, the hottest women in the world would be in Saudi Arabia or thereabouts, and we’re never going to find out if that’s true, are we?

Nevertheless, could a critical mass of these Hot and Hard women serve to change the weather? Perhaps if all of the women we’re posting today stood in the middle of Britain (which is around a village in Lancashire called Dunsop Bridge, by the way) the temperature might rise. Call me mad if you like, but the temperature of the men of Dunsop Bridge would certainly rise. It might be worth a try.




Of course it’s climate change that’s responsible for the colder winters the UK is experiencing, and more generally it’s responsible for more extreme weather across he globe. Unless you’re a Chinese industrialist, you probably try to do your bit to make sure your carbon footprint isn’t doing more damage than necessary.

Hot and hard women are no exception. A number of bigger and more environmentally-conscious gyms are already harnessing the incredible energy these women have, recycling it through the exercise equipment they use back into the gym’s power supply.

It’s very simple really, explains John Smith of The Big Green Gym in Brighton. Every rep on a cable machine, for example, produces a small amount of power through the friction created when the weights rise and fall. Enough people doing enough reps on enough machines and you can basically save enough power to light the gym, so you’re not taking any electricity from the grid.





So, the members get a workout, the gym saves on energy bills, and less power is consumed and wasted. Everybody wins. And according to Smith, it’s the higher-rep workouts that do the most good. The big boys tend to lift big, heavy free weights, and we haven’t worked out how to harness that energy yet. The women tend to use the machines more, and while they may lift less weight, they do so for a greater number of reps, he says. So they’re the ones doing the most good for the environment.

Perhaps, then, hot and hard women really can help us to control the weather, if only by doing their bit to ensure we don’t do more damage to the environment than we already have. They might not be able to improve the weather, but they are assisting in the fight against it getting even more extreme than it is already.




And anyway, no matter where you are and no matter what the weather is like there, haven’t these images of gorgeous muscular women raised your temperature? Isn’t it a little bit higher than when you were at the top of the page?

The temperature will continue to rise tomorrow. Get your Hawaiian shirts ready.